A Rancher to Trust Page 12

  It was all over in a few sweet seconds, but that didn’t matter. Bailey felt the impact of Dan’s kiss all the way to the tips of her toes. When she went back down on her heels, she had to brace her knees to keep them from buckling.

  Maybe she should have thought this through a little better. Unfortunately, right now her brain couldn’t have come up with a rational thought if her life had depended on it. She was barely able to stay upright.

  Dan must have seen something in her face, because he quickly scooped the warm bundle of baby out of her arms. Then he cupped her elbow with one hand, steadying her.

  Her heart hammering with a frantic mixture of joy and daring, Bailey looked up into his face. His greenish-brown eyes locked onto hers, but instead of the joy she’d expected, she saw shock mingled with something else, something that made uneasy goose bumps pop up on her arms.

  When Dan finally spoke, his words came out in a guilty rush. “Bailey, I think we need to talk.”

  Chapter Nine

  When Bailey’s face changed, Dan knew he’d messed up.

  As they walked toward his truck, each of them holding a squirming twin, he cut worried sidelong glances at her. She kept her eyes away from his, her jaw clenched. She didn’t speak, but he didn’t need her to. It was plain enough to see that he’d embarrassed her—and probably made her mad to boot.

  He hadn’t meant to. That kiss had just thrown him for a loop, coming out of nowhere like it had. He felt like kicking himself. He’d been hoping and praying for something like this for so long—and when it had finally come, he’d blown it.

  What he’d said was true. They did need to talk. But he shouldn’t have blurted that out in front of all those ladies. Apparently, Abel wasn’t the only Whitlock with a talent for sticking his foot in his mouth.

  When they pulled out of the church parking lot, he glanced at Bailey. “I thought we’d go to the cabin. We can feed the twins and put them down for their naps. And then we can talk.”

  “All right.” That was all she said, but he saw the tense furrows deepen on her forehead. Bailey already suspected she wasn’t going to like what he had to tell her.

  He didn’t like it, either. Gordon McAllister hadn’t only shown him the ropes of ranch work—the old man had also given him some no-nonsense lessons about honor. One of the main things the rancher had stressed was the fact that a decent man never went back on his word.

  But that’s just what Dan was about to do.

  They pulled up into the cabin driveway and began the process of getting the twins out of their car seats and into the house. They worked together to warm up tiny bottles of formula, change diapers and settle the sleepy twins into the cribs Dan had arranged against the wall of his bedroom.

  For the first time since he’d become responsible for the babies, he wished they’d take some extra time to settle down. He needed some time to think through what he was going to say. But once their bellies were full, the little traitors dozed off. Both of them. At the same time. That almost never happened.

  Go figure.

  Dan glanced at Bailey, who was tucking a giraffe-printed blanket around Finn. Her face was relaxed and unguarded as she hovered over the sleeping infant, and Dan’s heart tightened in his chest. He really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. He wanted more time, but that sweet, unexpected kiss had forced his hand.

  If he wanted more of those kisses—and he definitely did—he had to be completely honest with Bailey. There was no way around it.

  “They’re down,” he whispered. “Let’s go.” He backed up against the full-size bed to allow her to pass by him. He noticed she pressed herself tightly against the crib rails in order to squeeze by without brushing against him.

  So they were back to that.

  Once in the living room, Dan paused to pull the bedroom door closed. Bailey frowned.

  “Shouldn’t we leave it open so we’ll hear them if they wake up?”

  Dan laughed wryly. “Don’t worry. In this little cabin, you’ll hear every squeak. Trust me on that.”

  Bailey nibbled on her lower lip as she sank down on the sofa. “Maybe we should alternate nights, so I can help out more. I could stay here with the twins every other night, and you could bunk out at my place. You’re having to miss a lot of sleep trying to take care of them all by yourself.”

  That was kind of her, but it wasn’t what he was shooting for. He wanted all four of them together in one house, living like a real family. But at least her offer gave him a flicker of hope that he hadn’t messed things up too badly.

  Not yet, at least.

  He sat beside her, leaving a careful gap between them. “I appreciate that, Bailey, but until you and I work things out, the twins are my responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really thankful for all your help, but I’ll handle the night shifts solo for now. I still don’t have a clue what I’m doing, but I don’t think I’m messing up too bad.”

  Some of the color returned to Bailey’s face. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit. You’re wonderful with the twins, Dan.” Her expression softened. “You’re going to be a great dad.”

  She sounded like she truly believed that. His eyes met hers, and his breath got caught someplace midway between his chest and his throat. Suddenly all he wanted in the world was to take this woman in his arms and kiss her again.

  He’d better get this over with before he lost what little self-control he had left.

  He cleared his throat. “Like I said back at the church, Bailey, we need to talk.”

  “Because I kissed you.” Bailey was watching him closely. “I’m sorry, Dan.”

  “Don’t be.” The words burst out of him. “I’m not a bit sorry you kissed me, Bailey.”

  “Okay.” A shadow of a smile drifted across her lips as she studied him. “I’m glad to hear it. But I shouldn’t have surprised you like that, right there in front of everybody.”

  He drew in a long slow breath. He shouldn’t ask her. He should go right ahead with what he needed to say.

  But he couldn’t help it. He had to know. “Why, Bailey?”

  “You’re actually going to make me spell it out?” Bailey made a rueful face, but she nodded. “Okay.” She tilted her head and looked at him steadily. “I’ve been asking God to help me build a family, and I thought I knew how He was going to do that. But now I’m wondering if maybe He has a different idea. I don’t have everything figured out yet, Dan. But I think, maybe, I’d like to see if you and I can make this marriage work.”

  And there it was. Everything he wanted, there for him to take, like a rosy ripe apple hanging temptingly on the lowest branch of a tree.

  As she waited for him to answer, her lips were trembling just the tiniest bit, so slightly that most folks wouldn’t even have noticed. But he noticed everything about Bailey, and he knew that she’d just put her heart out on the line for him. Again.

  And he knew what that was costing her.

  It was costing him, too. Costing him everything he had not to take her into his arms, kiss her senseless and tell her she’d just made him the happiest man on the planet. Not too long ago, that’s exactly what he would have done.

  Now he couldn’t—not until he made sure Bailey understood exactly what she was getting herself into. But first he had one last question of his own.

  “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I have to ask you. Is this...” He trailed off. This was hard. “Is this just because of the twins?”

  Or does it have anything to do with me? With us? He left that part unsaid, but it hung in the air between them all the same.

  “No.” She paused. “At least, not entirely. I won’t lie to you. I’m so in love with those sweet babies already that I can hardly stand to be away from them. But I also care about you, Dan. Or I’m beginning to. Watching you navigate your way through this crisis, as bad and tra
gic as it’s been...well, it’s been beautiful. You’ve been so faithful, so determined to take care of the twins, even though I know you’re way out of your comfort zone. It’s changing the way I see you, how I feel about you. It’s as simple as that.”

  She was so in love with the twins, but she cared about him. He wished those two expressions had been reversed. But still, given their past, even those words coming from Bailey felt like seeing spring flowers poke their heads through the dirty mush of leftover winter snow.

  But she was wrong about the simple part. Nothing about this was simple.

  “I’m not saying we should rush into anything,” Bailey went on. “That’s what got us into trouble the last time. This time we should take things nice and slow. We have a lot of details to work out. You’ll need to find a job, and we’ll need to get the house fixed up. By that time, people around here will have realized how much you’ve changed, and all this silly gossip will have died down. And maybe, when we’re ready, we can have a little vows-renewal ceremony. Nothing fancy. Just something to mark our fresh start in front of our friends and neighbors, you know? If Finn and Josie are going to grow up here, I think it might be important to do that. Don’t you?”

  He had to tell her. Now.

  “Bailey, if you want a ceremony, I’m all for it. We’ll do whatever you want to do. But Finn and Josie won’t be growing up in Pine Valley. I’m sorry, but I have to take them back to Wyoming.”

  * * *

  “What?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “But I thought that part was already settled. If I...if we decided to try to work things out, you were staying here. You gave me your word, Dan.”

  “I know what I said.” His face had gone pale. “And at the time I meant it. I’m sorrier to break that promise to you than I’ve ever been about anything, Bailey. But please understand, my whole life has changed since then. Colt didn’t just trust me with the twins, he trusted me with the Bar M, too. I can’t let him down.”

  But you can let me down. “I see.”

  “I hope—I hope with all my heart—that you do see. Because I said my whole life had changed, but really that’s not true. One thing hasn’t. I still want you to be my wife, Bailey. I want us to make a life together, be a family together, you and me and the twins. And just now you told me it’s what you want, too. That’s what really matters, isn’t it? Where we live is just geography.”

  “So where we live doesn’t matter, but we have to live in Wyoming? That’s the decision you’ve made for both of us. Without even discussing it with me first.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice—not that she tried all that hard. “This is starting to feel really familiar, Dan.”

  There was a short, pained silence before he answered her. “But I’m not making a decision, Bailey. Not this time. I’m just stating a fact. As the owner of the Bar M, I have to live in Wyoming.”

  “Why? Couldn’t you sell it?”

  Shock tightened his face, followed by a swift, definite shake of his head. “You don’t understand how things are. We’re talking about a family legacy. That ranch is the twins’ birthright. Generations of McAllisters have poured their blood, sweat and tears into the Bar M. It’s not something I’d feel right about selling.”

  “Maybe that’s true, but the problem is I own a business, Dan. Here, in Georgia. And I just bought a farm. I’ve got a mortgage to pay. I can’t just dump all that and follow you out to Wyoming. It would mean giving up everything I’ve built, everything I’ve worked for.”

  Dan nodded slowly, his eyes intent on hers. “I understand. You’ve got a lot on the line here, and you have every right to be upset. I know it’s a big thing to ask. But I think you’d love Wyoming, Bailey. It’s beautiful there—a different kind of beautiful than here, that’s true. And living on a ranch can be hard sometimes, but you’ve never been afraid of tackling tough things.” One corner of his mouth tilted up slightly. “You took me on.”

  “I did. And I’m not really sure bringing that up helps your argument.” She shook her head. “I don’t know, Dan. I just don’t see any way we could make this work.”

  “I know this is coming out of nowhere, Bailey. But you said a minute ago that you thought you saw God’s hand in this. Right? And you and I both know that sometimes the Lord chooses to take us down roads we’d never have picked out on our own. Maybe this is one of those times. Would you at least pray about this before you make a decision? Please?”

  She didn’t answer him right away. Her emotions were swooping around like the swallows she’d had to evict from her farmhouse’s old chimney.

  One thing was for sure. History really did repeat itself, just like people said.

  If you let it.

  A muffled whimper came from the bedroom. Bailey stood, grateful for the interruption. “That sounds like Josie. I couldn’t get her to burp after her bottle, so she’s probably got a tummy ache. I’d better go get her before she wakes Finn up, too.”

  Dan had risen, too, and he put a gentle hand on her arm. “Bailey. Please.”

  “I’ll pray about it, Dan.” It wasn’t so much a promise as a statement of fact. Of course she’d pray about this. What else could she do? This was too big to handle without God’s help. But no matter what choice He led her to, one thing was for sure.

  She was going to end up losing something important.

  “Thanks, Bailey.” Dan spoke with a quiet gratitude as he followed her toward the bedroom, where Josie’s whimper was escalating into a full-fledged fuss. Before Bailey made it to the doorway, a second angry wail started. They hadn’t been quick enough, and Finn was joining forces with his cranky sister.

  So much for naptime, but Bailey didn’t blame the babies a bit.

  Right now, she felt like crying, too.

  Chapter Ten

  “So? What are you going to do?” Trisha Saunders leaned over the counter at Bailey’s, her beady eyes alight with excitement.

  Bailey gritted her teeth behind a bright smile as she finished ringing up the local florist’s half pound of dried apricots. She’d never cared much for Trisha. “I haven’t made a decision yet.”

  That was at least the twentieth time she’d said those words this morning. Trisha’s reaction was the same as everyone else’s.

  “Oh?” Trisha looked disappointed. She’d obviously hoped to leave Bailey’s with some juicy gossip to add to her apricots. “Really? Well, if you ask me, I wouldn’t consider it for a minute. No sense throwing your life away for a man like Dan Whitlock.”

  “Nobody’s asked you that I heard. And who says she’d be throwing anything away?” Arlene Marvin was next in line, holding a packet of loose-leaf herbal tea that Bailey knew perfectly well the caffeine-addicted church secretary would never drink. Trisha wasn’t the only one here under false pretenses this morning.

  Being caught in the middle of a gossip storm might be good for business, but that was the only silver lining Bailey saw in it. She was so sick of this—she wanted to go home, lock the door and hide.

  But she couldn’t do that. She had a store to run whether she felt like it or not.

  “Your receipt is in the bag. Have a great day!” And don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Bailey held out the apricots, but Trisha was too busy glaring at Arlene to notice.

  “Of course that’s what she’d be doing, Arlene! Giving up a successful business and moving all the way to the middle of nowhere to raise somebody else’s kids? For a man who’s already dumped her once?” Trisha shook her head. “I don’t see how any woman with half a brain could do a thing like that.”

  Arlene snorted. “I don’t see how any woman with half a heart could do anything else. Those poor, orphaned babies need a mother. What’s a grocery store compared to that?”

  Bailey gave up and set Trisha’s bag on the counter. “Excuse me.” She attempted to reach past Trisha to get to Arlene’s tea. N
either woman glanced in her direction.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Arlene. You’re from a different generation, and you haven’t built a business from the ground up like Bailey and I have. No matter how much she cares about the twins, Bailey has to look after herself. She needs to be sensible.”

  “Well, I may not know much about running a business, but I do know there’s nothing sensible about love,” Arlene announced solemnly. “And I don’t believe for a minute that those twins are the only ones Bailey cares about. Bailey kissed Dan Whitlock in the churchyard right in front of God and everybody. She wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t trust him, and if she trusts him, maybe we should, too!”

  Bailey felt her cheeks flushing as she finally managed to snag the packet of tea from Arlene’s gesturing hand. How could these women talk about her personal life as if she weren’t standing right here? “Arlene, you do realize this is decaf, right?”

  “That’s fine, dear,” Arlene said absently, proving once and for all in Bailey’s mind that this little visit had nothing to do with buying tea—or anything else.

  “That was before all that stuff on the internet came to light.” Trisha turned to Bailey. “She didn’t have all the information then. Isn’t that right, Bailey?”

  Bailey had no idea what Trisha was talking about. “What—” She stopped the question short. If she asked, she’d be throwing fuel on this fire, and that was the last thing she wanted to do right now. She needed to get these ladies out her door, and not only because she had half a dozen other customers milling around.

  Dan was bringing the twins by in a few minutes so that he could spend the day working on the farmhouse. She definitely didn’t want him walking into the middle of this.

  “That will be five dollars and thirty-five cents, Arlene,” Bailey said.

  “Pooh!” Arlene said dismissively. She was rummaging around in her large black purse, and for a second Bailey thought she was fussing about the price of the tea. “You shouldn’t pay attention to the nonsense people post on the internet, Trisha. You’d be better off paying attention to what the pastor has to say about gossip.”