Lost and Found Faith Read online

  See how he’s letting me hold him? Isn’t this wonderful?

  Neil straightened and stuck his hands in his damp pockets, feeling suddenly awkward.

  Ruby was wrong. Maggie didn’t need him after all.

  And neither did Oliver. Not anymore. But there was still something Neil needed to say.

  “Maggie, I’m really sorry. I should have been holding his hand instead of focusing on my phone.”

  “What are you talking about?” She frowned up at him. “You think this is your fault?” She shook her head. “Neil, it isn’t. I’m the one that yelled at him to stop right when he was in the middle of the slide. Sometimes accidents just happen, no matter how careful we try to be.”

  “All right.” A different nurse bustled in, brandishing a clipboard. “We just need Mom’s signature. Hi,” she said to Neil with a smile. “You must be Dad.”

  There was a short, uncomfortable pause. “No,” Maggie said finally. “Neil’s a friend.”

  “Oh! Well, then, I’m sorry. Only family’s allowed back here.”

  “But—” she started. Neil cut in quickly.

  “I should go home anyhow, get dried off. I’m really glad Oliver’s going to be okay.”

  “He is,” Maggie whispered, dropping a kiss on the top of the toddler’s head. “He really is going to be okay now.” She was talking about more than the accident, Neil realized.

  “Yes,” he agreed quietly. “I believe he is.”

  They made such a sweet picture that Neil lingered for a second, trying to press the image deep enough into his memory so he wouldn’t forget. Maggie, her ruddy curls pulled away from her face, summer freckles dotting the bridge of her nose. Oliver, swathed in a striped blanket, cuddled close in her protective embrace. They looked like what they were: a mother and child. A family.

  Just the two of them.

  Clearing her throat, the nurse tapped the pen on the clipboard. “Bye, now,” she said with a bright firmness.

  Maggie looked up, her eyes shining. “Thank you, Neil,” she said softly. “For everything.”

  For everything. Neil understood what that meant. Maggie wasn’t only thanking him for stopping by to check on Oliver. She was thanking him for everything.

  She was telling him his job was done.

  “You’re very welcome,” he answered quietly.

  He left the exam room, striding past the waiting area, not pausing when Logan called his name. He went to the parking lot, climbed into his Jeep and drove straight to the cabin. Rover greeted him at the door, but Neil’s dampness discouraged feline friendliness, and the cat soon stalked off.

  Rover had a point. Neil’s clothes felt clammy and unpleasant, and he needed a long, hot shower. But first, he powered up the computer. As he waited for the email program to open, he told himself that everything had worked out for the best.

  Maggie and Oliver didn’t need him now, and that was a good thing. He appreciated Maggie’s kindness today, but the truth was, he didn’t have the best track record for looking after people he cared about. That was something he couldn’t afford to forget.

  The email interface was up and ready. Neil scrolled to the appropriate message and hit Reply.

  Thank you, he typed as Rover watched him disapprovingly from the bedroom doorway. I’ll take the job.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sunday evening, Neil lingered in the church foyer as a familiar drum-heavy kids’ song swelled from the crowded sanctuary. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go in. In fact, he’d debated coming at all.

  Tonight was the special service spotlighting the Vacation Bible School participants and volunteers. There was no real reason for him to be here, and at least a couple of good reasons to stay home. He hadn’t heard from Maggie since Oliver’s accident, and the weather service was forecasting a nasty storm.

  In the end, he hadn’t been able to stay away. He’d arrived a few minutes late because he hadn’t wanted to make small talk. He only wanted...

  He wasn’t sure what he wanted.

  Just that, whatever it was, it was here.

  He scrutinized the packed room. With the jungle decorations removed, this sanctuary resembled a hundred others. It had the standard arched, stained glass windows and oak pews, the simple wooden cross on the wall behind the pulpit, the usual high, vaulted ceiling. It even had the obligatory, churchy smell of lemon furniture polish, spicy carnations and candle wax.

  This place was nothing special. Yet, for the past two days, he’d missed coming here.

  He’d expected to miss Maggie and Oliver. That was a given, but he hadn’t expected to miss church.

  It made no sense. Nothing special had happened here. He’d sat through Bible stories and songs geared for the not-quite-potty-trained crowd. He’d passed out carefully cut-up food on tiny plates—all provided by Angelo’s, of course—and then thrown 90 percent of those snacks in the trash. He’d helped with so many messy crafts that he’d be finding glitter on himself for weeks. He’d gotten a crick in his neck listening to long-winded, lisping prayers with frequent mentions of both pets and cartoon characters.

  If anything, he should feel relieved it was over. He didn’t. But he should.

  The theme song ended, and the pastor thanked the volunteers and announced a slideshow. The sanctuary lights dimmed, and different music began to play. Candid snapshots flashed one by one on the big screen at the front of the church.

  Neil watched intently, picking himself, Oliver and Maggie out in various photos. There was that first flashlight activity—the one about how God was faithful all the time, even when you couldn’t see Him. The following photo was taken the day they’d searched for the lost monkey—a lesson about how God came looking for those who lost their way. Neil smiled. Oliver had been brimming with joy over the red stuffed monkey he’d been given to take home. And there they were in the kitchen, everybody sporting orange construction-paper manes. They’d decorated lion-shaped cookies to remind them that with God on their side, they could be brave. Maggie had been in her element that day, and she’d glowed when Oliver had chosen her to help him stick licorice whiskers on his lion.

  And there... Neil stared at the glowing screen. Actually, he had no idea what activity they were doing in that picture. He was holding Oliver, and the little boy was laughing. Neil was grinning, and Maggie was looking at them both, love shining in her eyes.

  Love for Oliver, he reminded himself.

  The slideshow clicked ahead, but Neil’s mind stayed fixed on the image he’d just seen. As he pondered that sweetly affectionate look on Maggie’s face, he came face-to-face with the truth he’d been ducking for the past several days.

  He wanted her to look at him like that. More than anything.

  Somewhere along the way, he’d fallen for Maggie. He’d never expected to feel this way about a woman again, but there was no doubt about it. In fact, he knew it with a certainty that floored him.

  Not that it mattered. Because when he’d admitted how he felt about God, all he’d seen in Maggie’s eyes had been disappointment—and pity.

  As the slideshow ended, thunder boomed and the sanctuary lights flickered ominously.

  The pastor chuckled as he reclaimed the podium. “Looks like we finished up just in time! Let’s give our VBS volunteers a big round of applause and head downstairs to the fellowship hall for refreshments.”

  After a hearty spate of hand clapping, people surged up the aisles. Neil saw Maggie weaving through the crowd, leading Oliver by the hand. She’d embraced the safari theme with her usual enthusiasm. Two ponytails tied with jute tumbled over her shoulders, and she’d paired a leaf-sprinkled green top with khaki cargo shorts. Oliver’s red shirt sported a big orange lion.

  “Hey, Iceman,” Dex called. Neil pulled his gaze away from Maggie to see the teen hurrying toward him. Rory was balanced on his brother’s muscled arm, wearing
his paper lion’s mane. “Did you grade my exam?”

  “I did. It was a solid B, so you’re eligible to play ball.” He smiled. “Congratulations.”

  Dex’s face lit up. “You hear that, Rory? Your big brother’s one good season from getting a ticket to play college ball. Thanks, man. I ’preciate your help, and I’m sorry I gave you a hard time to start with.” The young man looked uncomfortable. “You know, about Maggie and all. I had it wrong. When Oliver got hurt, I could see you really cared about both of them. Anyway, I owe you big for this. Anything. Anytime. I mean it, Iceman.”

  Neil managed a smile. “Send me a ball cap from whatever college team recruits you and drop the Iceman thing, and we’ll call it even.”

  “I’ll send you the cap, all right.” Dex offered Neil a fist bump and a wink. “But you’re always gonna be Iceman. Sorry. That name’s stuck.”

  “Great,” Neil said dryly.

  “Yeah,” the boy answered seriously. “It could be, if you wanted it to. Your name’s what you make it, and I think you got a lot of great in you, Iceman.” The boy grinned. “Ain’t nobody more surprised about that than me. Now, come on, Rory—let’s grab us some cookies and celebrate!”

  Neil watched Dex go, feeling a sense of subdued satisfaction. At least he’d helped one Cedar Ridge student. Not a great count for the years he’d spent here, maybe. But better than nothing, and he was glad he was ending his teaching career on a positive note.

  “Neil!” Maggie stepped out of the chattering flow of people to stand beside him. “You came. I wasn’t sure—” She stopped herself. “I’m so glad. Look who’s here, Oliver.”

  The little boy didn’t release Maggie’s hand, but he reached for Neil’s with his free one. “Neil! Whoa!”

  His throat threatened to close as small, familiar fingers twined around his. “Whoa, buddy. Good to see you.” He glanced at Maggie. “He’s all right? No problems after the accident?”

  “Nothing but a couple of bruises. We’re very thankful.” She offered a tentative smile. “And we have some wonderful news. Mrs. Darnell approved the adoption. After the paperwork makes its way through the system, we’ll have a finalization ceremony at the courthouse. Then we’ll be a family forever. Right, Oliver?”

  “Forever family,” the toddler repeated carefully. “Maggie and Owiver.” He looked up hopefully. “And Neil?”

  “No, honey.” Her voice wobbled. “Remember? Forever family is Maggie and Oliver. Neil’s our good friend. Our very, very good friend.”

  Oliver pushed out his lower lip. “Neil, too!”

  “Well, he’ll come to the ceremony, sweetie. Won’t you? It would mean so much to him.” Maggie searched Neil’s eyes with hers. “It would mean a lot to both of us. This might never have happened without your help.”

  He cleared his throat. “I’d love to. The thing is... I’m moving at the end of the month. I’ve turned in my resignation to Audrey, and I was just about to give Ruby notice on the cabin rental. I took a job in Virginia.”

  “Oh.” Maggie’s hopeful smile drooped. “Virginia. A teaching job?”

  “Curriculum development.”

  “I see,” Maggie whispered.

  The minister approached, gently herding the last of his congregation down the aisle. As he stepped into the foyer, he snapped off the lights. The sanctuary plunged into darkness behind him, except for the lightning flickering through the stained glass.

  “Time for cookies.” The pastor smiled at Maggie. “Word is Angelo’s sent over a batch of spectacular ones, all shaped like jungle animals.”

  In spite of the heaviness in his chest, Neil smiled. He knew who’d made those cookies, and it definitely wasn’t Angelo.

  “We’re headed that way now,” Maggie said. “Aren’t we, Neil?”

  He wanted to say yes. He wanted to sit with her and Oliver and eat cookies and drink fruit punch and pretend for a while longer that things were different. That the three of them were really what they’d appeared to be in the slideshow. A family.

  But they weren’t, and he might as well face that fact now.

  “I’d better get back to the cabin. I have a lot of packing to do.” He gently disentangled his fingers from Oliver’s and rumpled the little boy’s hair. “See you later, buddy.”

  “See you, Neil,” Maggie answered for the both of them.

  Oliver’s lip trembled, and as Maggie led him in the direction of the stairs, he looked wistfully over his shoulder at Neil. But he never let go of her hand.

  As they edged out of sight, Neil sighed and glanced again at the sanctuary. Lightning flickered, briefly highlighting the stained glass windows.

  “Well,” he murmured under his breath, “if You were going to answer somebody’s prayers, I’m glad You decided to answer Maggie’s. That’s something, I guess. In fact, that’s a lot. So...thank You.”

  He waited for a second, then chuckled, slipping one hand beneath his glasses to rub wearily at his eyes. What was he still standing here for? If he’d learned anything over the past three years, it was that his conversations with God tended to be very one-sided.

  As Neil turned toward the doors, something in the darkened sanctuary caught his eye. He squinted, then took off his glasses. He wiped them on his shirttail, put them back on and squinted again.

  Strange. A thin beam of light was shining upward from one of the pews.

  Neil’s heartbeat sped up, and he blinked, annoyed with himself.

  Oh, for crying out loud. You know there’s got to be some reasonable explanation, Hamilton. Go see what it is.

  He strode down the carpeted aisle. Just as he’d expected, it was nothing. Just a flashlight, one of the cheap plastic ones the teacher had passed out the first day of VBS. Some child had turned it on and left it behind, wedged between the cushion and the wooden back of one of the middle pews.

  See? Perfectly simple explanation.

  But as Neil picked it up, the words the preschool teacher had said murmured in his memory.

  God’s love for us lights up our lives. Sometimes we forget about Him...but that doesn’t change God. He still loves us just the same.

  Neil looked up at the shadowed wooden cross hanging on the back wall of the church. For a second—just for a second—he wondered.

  Then he shook his head, disgusted. He was being ridiculous. This was a flashlight from the dollar store. It didn’t mean anything, except that some poor kid was just as forgetful as he was.

  He switched it off and tossed it back into the pew.

  He made it halfway up the aisle, then stopped and stood there in the dark church for a few long seconds, his back to the altar, breathing in the smoky scent of spent candles. The silence filled his ears like cotton.

  Then he turned and retraced his steps to pick up the forgotten toy. He lingered there for a few moments, weighing it thoughtfully in his hand.

  When he walked out into the muggy air of a Georgia June evening, the hilt of a blue plastic flashlight stuck out of his pocket.

  * * *

  Back at the farmhouse, Maggie helped Ruby wash the last of the dishes as the predicted thunderstorm brewed outside the kitchen window. When the rain started in earnest, Ruby shook her head.

  “We’re in for a gully washer, sure as the world. Half the Knob’s liable to be down in the hollow by sunrise.”

  Maggie nodded absently as she dried a saucer. The weather was the least of her concerns. “I’d better check on Oliver before I head to bed. He might get scared if the thunder gets too loud.” She sighed. “Poor little fellow. He cried himself to sleep. He’s so upset about Neil moving away.”

  “How are you feeling about that yourself?” Ruby pulled the plug, allowing the sudsy dishwater to swirl down the drain.

  Loaded question. Seeing Neil at the church had been...hard. And hearing he was moving away had been even worse. Still. Magg
ie struggled to keep her expression neutral. “All things considered, I expect it’s for the best. Don’t you?”

  “No, I don’t!” Ruby wrung out her washcloth with a fierce twist. “I think it’s a shame. Watching you two together all week got my hopes up, so I’m real disappointed to hear Neil’s leaving town. But I ain’t done yet. I’m going to keep right on praying over this until the good Lord slams this door in my face.” Ruby nodded firmly. “You never can tell how God will work things out. Ain’t nothing impossible for Him.”

  Maggie sighed. Ruby and her matchmaking. “I thought you’d have given up on that idea.”

  “Why? Because Neil’s faith is in a tangle? No, that never worried me so much.” Ruby sat down at the table and patted the chair beside her invitingly. “I sorta took it as a testimony to how close Neil and God really are, deep down. You know how it is. We always get the maddest at the ones we love the most. Besides, I think that’s near about over anyhow. Neil stuck out the week at church all right, didn’t he?”

  Maggie nodded as she sat at the table. “Yes, he did.” And most of the time, he’d seemed to be enjoying himself.

  “And by the end of it, I could tell the Lord was working on him.” Ruby chuckled. “Ain’t that funny? Smart man like that, all those fancy degrees, and a little old Vacation Bible School turns him around. The baby class, no less! God sure does have a sense of humor, don’t He?”

  Maggie frowned. Come to think of it, Neil had seemed awfully attentive to the lessons, and she’d even seen him talking to Pastor Thompson a couple of times in the hallway. “I think you might be right, Ruby. I hope so.”

  “I know I’m right. I feel it in my bones. But you still ain’t going to try to talk him out of moving to Virginia?”

  “No, I’m not. And don’t you try it, either,” she added hastily. Ruby was perfectly capable of it.

  “I can’t promise anything. Like I said, I’m still praying and believing that God’s got a better plan in store for you two,” Ruby retorted. “Go ahead and give me all the side-eye you want to, but that man is made and meant for you, and you for him.”